


A Tour of the Seraglio

by PeculiarMojo



Series: Sheikverse [2]
Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Crack, Sheikverse, Theo in a leather kilt, butt touches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeculiarMojo/pseuds/PeculiarMojo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short story to accompany "In the Seraglio of the Iron Sheik."</p>
<p>Theo gives you a short tour of the Seraglio.</p>
<p>Short, because you apparently have attention issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tour of the Seraglio

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read "In the Seraglio of the Iron Sheik" first, I highly recommend that you do.
> 
> Told from the experianced perspective of Theopholous Dumedd.
> 
> This is pure, unadulterated, fanservice-y crack. You have been warned.

Yes, yes, right this way. I know it’s confusing at first, but that’s why I’m giving you the tour.

You will hardly learn if you keep staring at my behind you know. Please do not make me regret wearing this skirt. Yes, it is leather. No, you may not touch it. _Focus._

Okay— fine, you can touch it, but eyes on the doors, okay?

So, we’re in the main hallway here. We’re currently facing north, so the east wing is to the right and the west wing is to the left. In this hallway by itself, however, we have a lot of the smaller rooms, and several branching hallways.

Yes, so— Okay, you are _not_ touching the skirt anymore, that is my _thigh_. Please _focus_ , this is important. To our right, currently, we have the hall leading to the general harem quarters, where most of us sleep. That’s where we just came from.

To our left, we have the Cafeteria, which is where we go to get our meals, all cooked by one of the finest chefs in the world- from Paris I heard. There are good hot meals at 8 AM, 1PM, 7PM and there are good cold cuts and frozen goodies around the clock. These times are rather important as-

Wh-? By the lightning, _no pinching!_ If this is going to distract you, I’m going to put on a robe.

Okay, _fine then_. I’ll skip to the “interesting bits.”

In the East Corridor is the Pudding Pit— fresh pudding every half day. Most of the time they opt for chocolate pudding, but occasionally they mix it up with some other flavor. The Pudding wrestling tournament is held on the first Saturday of each month, and prizes are given to the winner and the finalists. Higgs almost always wins though.

Oh, Higgs? What about him?

He’s quite mysterious, actually. Just showed up one day, shirtless, looked around and asked if he could stay a bit. He comes and goes as he pleases— not as if anyone could stop him any way.

Personally, I think he used to be an airman of some kind— his sideburns are perfectly regulation, and his ponytail just seems to scream “bosun...”

…

Okay, _that is it_. This tour is obviously not doing you any good. I hope you know the way back.

_I am never wearing this skirt again. I hope you’re happy._


End file.
